Hello, NaNi Vaato Readers. How do you escape the South-Asian Aunties and their gossip, that is one secret I will actually tell.
We probably all have heard stories about those aunties gossiping about us at weddings and sadly trying to interfere into everyone's lives. Gossip culture is often a big association with these “aunties” and it often leads to unnecessary drama. They tend to gossip about other people’s children and other families or simply ask long, unnecessary, and sometimes uncomfortable questions. These types of questions and comments can lower the self-esteem of children and can even take a mental toll on them. It might even lead to children facing hardships to figure out what they should do with their lives and how they should fix something about themselves in order to avoid being talked about. This is a social problem that our generation needs to step up and fix in order to avoid other children being put down. As a generation we can break these stigmas by voicing our opinions and ignoring the gossip that is said about us by rising above it. We have to learn to speak up not only for ourselves but for others, and take a stance on what is right versus the wrong gossip that is being spread. All the gossip that is spread does not define you as an individual but instead we should try to radiate positivity in the best way possible.
It is upsetting to see that in our culture if we share our voices and state something right, it shows that we are being disrespectful and talking back. Therefore, as a generation we need to make it a norm to share our opinions, and if we start now then, in the future if we state something it will not sound like we are talking back.
Have you ever been a victim of Auntie Gossip? See how many of these comments you can relate to and what you could do if you are ever in a situation like this!
Chai Time with South-Asian Aunties
“Did you hear her daughter is almost 24, and she isn’t even married yet!”
After we graduate college, the next step is marriage. WRONG! In the South-Asian community, there is a tendency for families to bring forward potential rishta’s (marriage proposals) after college ends, which shouldn’t always be the case. Our generation is changing, and we want to have a stable career before marriage, which is great. Career before marriage is a huge shift that our generation is focusing on, and it should be this way because in order to have a family, you need to be able to financially support your family. Not only this, but if one does not want to be married or have kids that is perfectly okay as well. If an aunty ever asks when you are getting married, smile and simply state: “After I find a stable job and build my career, I will think about marriage if I am ready, not when society thinks I am ready.”
“Did you hear about the issues in their family; I feel so bad for them!”
Someone else’s family issues should not be a center of focus for a discussion. Every family has their ups and downs and they will be resolved on their own. When gossip about a family starts there is often false information that spreads and it leads to drama. Instead, if you ever hear an aunty gossiping about a family kindly go up to them and state: “You should not talk about other families, instead focus on your own family.”
“Do you see how she is dressed? She has no sharam (shame), her family must be so ashamed!”
My Body, My Outfit! In the South-Asian community, clothing disparities are often a big conflict. We are talked about if we dress up too much or if we wear too modernized clothing. If I am comfortable enough to wear it in public then no one else’s opinions should matter. If you are ever approached by an aunty on the way you are dressed state: “My mom and dad do not care, I do not care, so why should I care about what society's opinions?”
"You should gain weight and eat more you are too skinny, You should lose weight and eat less you are too fat!"
There are many aunties who give viewpoints on other children's bodies, especially to girls. If we are comfortable with the way we look then we should not let anyone lower our self-esteem. Aunties have a habit to comment on other individuals but we should stay positive and remain confident. If you ever hear an aunty state something about your body tell them: "Your opinion on my body is not relevant and I am confident just the way I am!"
“Their son or daughter is so Americanized now! They have no sanskar (values)!”
Commenting on other children is always a big aspect of gossip culture in the South-Asian community. Especially about children who are modern and are blending into the culture they are growing up in. Just because someone goes out, wears certain clothes, or parties does not make them any less sanskari compared to other children. This is often a mindset that not only comes from the South-Asian culture but also from children of our own generation. Therefore, if children in our own generation can not change their viewpoint, then how can we expect society to listen to us? If an aunty comes up to you and states that you are Americanized and not cultured: “Just because I am modern and grew up in America does not make me any less cultured, because my parents have taught me the same values as everyone else.”
Overall, gossip culture is a big part of south-asian culture, but our generation needs to take a step to fix these viewpoints.