This blog is far from one on relationship advice. It simply strives to start the "small talk" on Interracial Relationships in the South-Asian Community.
If you’re part of the South-Asian community, then I can guarantee that you’ve been given the pep talk about relationships and specifically marriage expectations at least once in your life. This talk usually concludes with us being told that we should find someone within our culture.
Our parents don’t mean to say this because they want to control our life per say, but because of the traditions they have been raised with and the morals and culture they want to keep alive.
Our families think this way because they feel like a relationship is not only between the two of them but between the two families as well, which is true! It’s important to be able to blend two families and with interracial relationships this may come as a challenge to some.
As humans, we tend to gravitate towards people who are similar to us physically. Therefore, we obviously want to be with someone that understands our culture, gets the inside jokes, can speak your language, and can fit in well with your family.
But, why do we only associate this with a fellow member of the South-Asian community? What if life doesn’t go as planned and suddenly you find yourself in love with someone the complete opposite of you when it comes to skin tone, religion, and cultural traditions? Does this mean this interracial relationship won’t work or even be accepted?
Interracial relationships have always been a topic of discussion within this community and our own families. Even while writing this blog, we’re both a bit hesitant because we know how split individuals in our culture are on this topic, and we never want to make it seem as if we are offending these traditional ideas. However, we do believe that it’s important to highlight interracial relationships and celebrate the successes despite the challenges they may have faced.
Why Exactly Is This Controversial?
For some families, there lies the issue of deviating from tradition and fearing for their children’s future. They believe that their children should not marry outside of their culture or religion due to conflicts that would occur between the partners as well as the two families because of the differences.
Parents believe that their children would have a hard time communicating since they may not speak the same native language, find it hard to adapt to the differences in cuisine, and may lose sight of traditions and values they spent their whole life learning.
Our parents aren't wrong when they say this because it is difficult; however, we as a generation need to show our parents that other cultures are just as important and beautiful. As a generation, we need start having these tough conversations and begin to explain to our community that interracial relationships are just as beautiful as the “normal ones.” This is a lot easier said than done, however, even the smallest steps in neutralizing our viewpoints to encompass multiple sides to the argument can make all the difference.
This idea doesn’t just apply to relationships, but also to a lot of the newer issues prevalent in society such as LGBTQ+ rights, choosing careers over marriage, and other more unconventional ideas that the more older and traditional members of our community may find it hard to understand (blog articles on these topics coming soon!).But, it’s important to understand that we can’t blame them for this. They don’t mean to come off as judgmental but rather their strong opinions arise because they’ve never been exposed to this. Essentially, it’s culture shock! With the majority of them being immigrants, these novel ideas can be a lot for them all at once. Which is why conversation and compromise are KEY.
Have An Open Mind
Overall, as our generation begins to become parents ourselves, we can become more open to these ideas and the decisions that our own children make in their relationships. With evolving times and perspectives, we as a community must learn to also appreciate new concepts while still embracing tradition. Change is hard but sometimes necessary. Everyone has their own beliefs and we are not trying to persuade anyone; however, we feel that this “small talk” around interracial relationships has the potential to make a great impact especially within our . At the end of the day, remember to live the life that you’re happy with and find a way to include your family in this happiness; after that, no one else’s judgment matters:)