Light & Dark Sides of Indian Marriages

Getting married to your significant other is something that mostly everyone looks forward to in the future. However, even though there are good sides to a wedding such as spending time or having support from a significant other, there are also dark sides to a marriage, like child marriages and dowry.

PC: @indianweddingglam

Most people dream about their future weddings and start planning since they are young. Marriage is not only about someone to spend the rest of your life with or about having the best wedding. There are many issues on marriage that are not discussed and need to be addressed. Of course there are many positives to marriage such as support from your significant other and spending time with the one you love, but within the Indian culture, there are also negatives in certain marriages such as dowry, domestic abuse, forced marriages or even child marriages within the Indian culture.

PC: @weddingkingrotterdam

Myth Buster

"Do all Indians get an arranged marriage? The answer is no no no."

Arranged marriages

In the Indian community, many families believe that their children should get an arranged marriage. However, more families are beginning to move away from this tradition and allow their children to get into love marriages.

I am happy to say that my family has shifted their mindset and are more open to relationships rather than forcing me to have an arranged marriage. Personally, my family has openly discussed with me that they do not mind if I find someone as long as I let them know. They explained to me that my significant other should be someone who cares for me, loves me, and will be able to support me in any situation.

Even though many families are willing to allow this, they have certain criteria that must be followed. For example, the boy or girl must be Indian, well educated, and behaved. While some families might believe in arranged marriages, the guidelines are not strict anymore such that you can meet before, date, and get to know one another on your own terms. To this day, in certain parts of India, marriages are blindly made where the boy and girl do not even meet till after marriage. The biggest reason behind arranged marriages is that parents believe they make the best decisions for their children. In the past, dowry was and sadly still continues to be a huge factor in an arranged marriage; with the dowry system, the groom's family will only agree to the proposal if the bride's family give ample money. According to The New Indian Express, in 2018 there were 688 dowry cases and 48 dowry deaths, and in 2019 there were 739 dowry cases and 52 dowry deaths. The increase in the cases, despite having a law prohibiting dowry cases, is despicable and shows the importance of spreading awareness regarding this situation.

PC: @southasiannation

The Dark Side of Indian Marriages

One topic that needs to be more openly discussed is the idea of child marriages in India. Unfortunately, this is something that still goes on in the country and something our generation can help make a difference towards. According to Plan International, “12 million girls marry before the age of 18 each year- almost one every 2 seconds.” “If we don’t act now, more 150 million girls will become child brides by 2030." Oftentimes, the child marriages are between a young girl to an older man. The girl is harmed both physically and mentally. They are not allowed to gain a proper education, are deprived of their childhood, and lose their right to make decisions. She is usually neglected, raped, or abused at such a young age. Plan International states that the reason why child marriages happen is because younger girls are more obedient, can give dowry, and there are not many laws protecting women and inequality of gender.

What can we do to help?

As a growing generation and community we must come together and help these young children who are mistreated through marriages. Looking at the idea of child marriages, these kids lose their whole childhood and go through a lot of mental and physical trauma. We do not even stop and think how common this is and how many children are affected. We can start by spreading awareness about child marriages. Another way is to donate to Plan International, where they will help families move away from practices and also help children, especially girls to try to claim their rights in society. Overall, I also believe that we should start changing our viewpoints on how marriages should be and trusting our children to make these decisions for themselves.

Written By: Nishita Patel